The market and inability to find a job has slapped me and many others in the face. Some have already adjusted, others are resisting the inevitable, and I truly believe that I’ve been sitting in the middle of either end of the spectrum since the beginning of my final semester. On one end, I knew that finding a job would be next to impossible by the time May rolled into town, on the other end I held out hope that it would only be a few more months before things evened out. With that said, it has nothing to do with growing up. Many view the act of growing up in different ways. Some see it as getting a career and maintaining/advancing in it, some see it as a number (age) and look at it as a combination of multiple factors.
When you move out of your parents house you really realize how many new options are suddenly in front of you. Friends can stay as late as they want, you can come and go as you please, you can eat what you want, and you can stay at a friends place as long as they will have you. Moving back to my parents house is a tough decision but one that, ultimately, is the only real option I currently have. In around a month I will be making the trek back to Atlanta, Ga in order to move back in with my parents and find an hourly wage job. I need to find something that makes enough money with enough hours to move out so I can regain my freedoms but also still have time to look for a career style job.
Over the next few weeks though I will be traveling quite often between Blacksburg, Va and Peachtree City, Ga (a distance of about 425 miles) and won’t have time to thoroughly clean my apartment for moving out. Today, my one remaining roommate and I began to clean the community portion of our apartment and it really began to sink in that it was time for not only a change of scenery, but an overall life change. I’ve become tire of living in a mess with trash and other issues everywhere. Old papers, receipts, and packaging does not need to live on for months after they are obtained. Tossing everything into a garbage can (including old papers from classes) was quite the relief and even though there’s really next to no change in my apartment or room’s look, it feels more clean to me.
Another thing I’ve realized over the past 2 weeks is health. I’ve never eaten healthy and loathe (yes, not dislike, hate, or avoid…but LOATHE) vegetables. I lucked out in my early years with a fast metabolism and relatively active lifestyle, but since coming to college my focus has been on school and work rather than on getting out and being active. I’ve always maintained that the only reason I didn’t balloon when I arrived at college was the constant walking between classes that, actually was, uphill both ways (if you’ve never been to VT you won’t understand, but the drill field is almost always necessary to cross at least once per day and it is shaped like a bowl).
Upon my arrival here I was roughly 165 lbs standing at 5’10”-5’11”. Relatively height-weight proportionate but likely with a high body fat % due to my choosing soda over water in most cases during youth. At this point I’m roughly the same height and weighting in at 188 (Dr. visit 2 weeks ago). I’d like to get back to around 175 which I believe is where I should be when weight for muscle is added (I was very scrawny in high school).
For this reason I’ve decided to return to p90x. Not only will it be something for me to take my mind off of job hunting, grad school scouting, and everything else; but, it should make me an overall happier person. Last summer, when I first got this blog, I was occasionally blogging about my progress and I really really enjoyed the program. When school started though and I once again had a household of 4 people in a prison cell sized space, and I lost my time and motivation…10 pounds lighter, and feeling stronger than I had in years.
Over the past month I’ve gone from happy, to depressed, to content, and back to an in between stage of mixed emotion. My lack of a relationship life and lack of positive job outlook have beaten me down, but rather than staying down and getting depressed, it’s time for me to fight back. It’s time for me to grow up. It’s time for me to become healthier not just mentally but physically. It all starts tomorrow and progresses throughout the week. I’ll be in pain for the next week and a half, but after that, I’ll be back on my healthy addiction to exercise, regain my confidence that I had finally found just before leaving for college, and overall, every change should help me in some aspect of my current issues in life.
